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At Gateways, the focus is on children and teens.  We love the wonderful bar and bat mitzvah stories, the examples of students making great strides at school, and the pictures of high school volunteers and Sunday program participants laughing at a Purim carnival.  Our Day School Programs, Jewish Education Programs, Teen Volunteer Programs, and Gateways to College directly serve young people, while Community Services and Professional Development help students by supporting their teachers and schools.  Parents and families get support through all these programs, but I have to admit that support has been indirect.

Not any more.  This fall CJP and Hebrew College will offer a special Parenting Through a Jewish Lens (Ikkarim) class for parents of children with special needs.  Parenting Through a Jewish Lens is a 10-week course for parents that explores core values through discussion and some text study.  Led by expert instructors, the focus is on conversations about the questions that really matter: What is my vision of parenting? How can I help my child identify a good path?  How can I help my family through dark times?  How do I talk to my child about God?  

Jacob Meskin, Academic Director of Adult Learning at Hebrew College and co-author of the curriculum, explained the thinking behind the class this way: “When you have a child, you change the way you think, you have a new set of things to work out.  Judaism has a lot of wisdom about these kinds of issues, such as creating a family environment, getting along with your spouse, and raising children.”  A parent who took Ikkarim described its power simply, "This program enabled me to slow down and think about how I want to raise my child."

Parenting through a Jewish Lens is offered in synagogues and communities throughout the Greater Boston area, and parents of children with special needs have been among the almost 1,000 who have already participated.  But I believe that there is a place for a Parenting Through a Jewish Lens class specifically for those parents. The class can help build a sense of community among parents of children with special needs, who may welcome conversations with others who have similar experiences.  In a shared space these parents can get the support from Jewish tradition that every parent looks for.   As Meskin explains, all parents need “the sense that they matter, the strength to cope with their challenges, and help finding a way to God for them and their children.”

We coordinated with Hebrew College to offer this program at the same time and place as the Gateways Sunday Program---Sunday mornings from 9:30-11 at Solomon Schechter Day School of Greater Boston.  This way, while the students are in their Gateways classes, the parents will meet nearby.  If someone is interested in Parenting Through a Jewish Lens for parents of children with special needs but their child is not presently in the Sunday program, this is a twofer—the opportunity to enroll in two wonderful programs, one for you and one for your child.  And there is babysitting for siblings if you need it!

To learn more about the class and to have your questions answered, you can attend an information session on Sunday April 29 from 9:30-10:30 or you can contact Elisha Gechter, Associate Director of Adult Learning at Hebrew College.

Click here to view a printer-friendly PDF of this article.
Click here to view this article on boston.parenthood.com.

For Frank Murphy, the likelihood that his daughter would celebrate a bat mitzvah like other Jewish girls her age could be summed up in two words.

“Never. Ever,” he says.

Ten years ago, while recovering from surgery to correct a defect in her heart, Rachel Murphy suffered a stroke and cardiac arrest. She was 2 years old and the lack of oxygen caused irreversible damage to her brain. She lost her ability to walk, speak or eat on her own.

“We went into the hospital with a kid who was healthy and we came out of the hospital with a kid who was completely different. I can’t even begin to tell you what that’s like,” says Murphy. “The only cognitive ability she had before and after surgery was her recognition of music. Music was the one thing that kept her with us – and the guys at Gateways get that.”

Gateways, based in Newton, is a six-year-old nonprofit that provides Jewish religious education to children with learning disabilities – from mild autism disorders to more severe cases like Rachel’s. Every Sunday, Rachel and her father rise at 7 a.m. and drive 45 minutes from Milford to Newton for classes that use picture stories, songs and crafts to make the teachings of Judaism accessible.

Now, when the family celebrates Jewish holidays, they can sing songs Rachel knows by heart. “Without Gateways, she would just be in the room. She wouldn’t be as plugged into our family,” Murphy says.

As she approaches her 13th birthday, Rachel will prepare for a bat mitzvah ceremony, a significant rite of passage for Jewish teens, but one perhaps even more poignant for families like the Murphys.

While federal law mandates that schools must accommodate children with special needs, there are no similar edicts for churches and synagogues, and some parents struggle to find ways to nurture their children’s spiritual needs. Fortunately, over the last decade, many organized religions have taken real steps to welcome all members of a family, even the ones who can’t sit still through a sermon or who scream out at inappropriate times.

All over Massachusetts, religious education curriculums are being modified to reach special needs children where they’re at – developmentally and cognitively. Places steeped in tradition are embracing new technologies, and religious educators say it’s possible – and just as important – to apply the advances made in special education in the schools to help children develop a relationship with God.

“Faith isn’t an intelligence test. There are very few children who can’t understand on some level,” says Cathy Boyle, a Winchester resident who adapted a Catholic religious education curriculum for her autistic son. “I think the churches are starting to realize that there are so many kids with autism and if you turn them away, the families turn away. These kids are the future of our church.”

Rich Robison, executive director of the Boston-based Federation for Children with Special Needs, is also interim pastor at the First Baptist Church in Bedford and the father of two children with Down syndrome. He understands how critical it is for a place of worship to make a child feel welcome.

“A parent can feel terribly wounded and disenfranchised from a community if the very organization you anticipate would profess everyone is welcome is the organization that sets up barriers to exclude,” says Robison. “To some people, it can feel like a punishment from up high. If they can’t accept my child, who will?”

Worldwide Interest in One Mom’s Teachings

At St. Mary’s Parish in Winchester, the secretary says she wishes she had a map to mark with pins all the places from around the country – and the world – that people have called from to inquire about the curriculum that Boyle created. Nebraska, Iowa, Alaska, Northern Ireland and Australia are among them.

After home-schooling her son to ensure that he could make his First Communion, Boyle was approached about teaching a class for children with special needs. She customized an existing curriculum for children like her son who are non-verbal.

Word spread. “If you build it, they will come,” says Boyle. Before long, she was teaching a class of 20 children from 10 different towns. She later traveled throughout the Archdiocese to lead workshops.

Skeptics may question how much the children grasp, but Boyle argues they understand plenty. “The key is to meet them where they are.”

She recalls how one day her son did something he thought was wrong while preparing to receive the sacrament of reconciliation, which involves asking for forgiveness. Instead of using the sign language word for “Sorry,” he signed “God.”

She says she was fortunate to have a priest who supported her son. One Sunday when the Boyles were not there, the priest made note of the fact that an autistic boy was a part of the congregation. “And he said, ‘This boy can be loud sometimes, and that’s all right because faith can be messy,”’ Boyle says. “That kind of backing from the pulpit sends a strong message.”

Exceeding Expectations

Rebecca Redner is a teacher at Gateways who first got involved with its programs as a volunteer one-on-one aide in high school. The experience was so rewarding, she says, that she ended up studying special education at Boston University.

Teen mentors are a key component of Gateways programs, along with small classes and a commitment to tailor programs to individual needs. In addition to classes in Newton, Gateways works with Jewish day schools and individual temples. About 80 percent of the students are on the autism spectrum.

Redner says her students frequently exceed expectations and surprise parents and rabbis with their ability to read Hebrew and grasp the meaning behind Jewish holidays. For instance, while teaching about Passover, Redner showed children the symbolic Seder plate and then began explaining that Passover celebrates Jewish freedom; deeper questions ensued.

“‘Why would God let the Jewish people be slaves if he loved them?’ You never know what they will come up with,” Redner says. “They are always surprising you.”

Marni Smilow Levitt, of Sharon, has two sons enrolled in Gateways programs as students, and another son who volunteers as a one-on-one aide. “Gateways has really become the go-to agency for special education for Jewish children in the Greater Boston area,” she says. “What I really want is for my kids to have a connection to the Jewish community, and that won’t happen unless they have the same opportunities to participate.”

Rabbi Howard Jaffe of Temple Isaiah in Lexington has worked with Gateways to prepare students for bat or bar mitzvah ceremonies, and has found that the children rise to a level higher than anything he imagined.

“I think there has been an awakening in the Jewish community of the responsibility that we have to provide Jewish education to children with special needs,” Jaffe says. “In every instance, Gateways has found a way to reach their child so their child does know what it means to be Jewish. The success is something that allows the parents to know that the kids can succeed in other ways they may not have realized as well. It’s really extraordinary.”

Susan Flynn is associate editor of the Boston Parents Paper.

Newton, MA - Over at the Leventhal-Sidman Jewish Community Center, a group of preschoolers from the Bernice B. Godine JCC Early Learning Center watched Barbara Lischinsky, who is blind, demonstrate how her service dog Ribbon helps her get around.

Meanwhile, at The Boston Jewish Film Festival, six films about people with disabilities are featured in the festival’s REELAbilities series.

And 24/7 on Facebook, close to 1,500 people – and counting – make connections and share ideas on programs and issues related to Jews with special needs.

Seemingly disparate, but all connected by the fact that February is Jewish Disability Awareness Month (JDAM), marked by special events, cultural programs, educational initiatives and advocacy opportunities in and around Boston – and nationally, globally, and online too. 

It’s all part of a large-scale and concerted effort to raise the communal consciousness and to support efforts fostering and encouraging inclusion of people with disabilities and their families in all aspects of Jewish community life.

“Families and organizations dedicated to embracing all Jews, no matter what their ability or disability, are driven by this passion every day,” said Arlene Remz, Executive Director of Gateways: Access to Jewish Education, which works to ensure inclusion of students with special learning needs in Jewish educational settings in the Boston area.

“For one month, JDAM propels our collective mission to the top of the Jewish communal conversation.  Our hope is that it fuels attention the rest of the year as well.”

This year is the fourth for JDAM, launched in 2009 as an initiative of the Jewish Special Education International Consortium, a professional network for those, including Gateways, involved in Jewish special education programs.

While it started small, it quickly owned its place on the Jewish communal calendar as major federations, philanthropies, advocacy organizations and others began leveraging JDAM for special programming, outreach efforts and awareness campaigns.

A dedicated page on the website of Jewish Federations of North America (JFNA) lists and links to JDAM events and special needs resources in communities across the country, and JewishBoston.com, the website of Combined Jewish Philanthropies (CJP) has similar listings for the Boston area. Other national communal organizations have jumped in too.  

“Together, we mark Jewish Disability Awareness Month as a major opportunity to raise awareness of this important cause,” said Jerry Silverman, president and CEO of JFNA.

Originators of JDAM said they are overwhelmed by the buy-in to the initiative.

“This has ballooned exponentially,” said Shelly Christensen, co-founder of JDAM and program manager for the Jewish Community Inclusion Program for People with Disabilities in Minneapolis.

“Its growth has really highlighted the reality that issues have emerged and are surfacing, and the need for communities to address them and create environments of inclusion for a lifetime.”

While an organization such as Gateways is dedicated to creating opportunities for a Jewish education, other issues are part of the JDAM dialogue as well, including, addressing social needs, offering pathways to employment, providing housing, and opening doors to synagogue life. 

“In all of these areas, the Jewish community has an incredible opportunity to engage people,” Christensen said. “The idea that someone is marginalized, and that his or her access to Jewish roots is disrupted, is unacceptable to us as a people.”

Philanthropists too are taking note and are part of the JDAM conversation, indicating that key levels of Jewish leadership recognize the importance of inclusion of Jews with special needs in all realms of the community.

“Our continuity as a people is jeopardized by the fact that so many in our community are shut out from opportunity,” said Jay Ruderman, President of the Ruderman Family Foundation, a supporter of Gateways, and an outspoken advocate for Jews with special needs.

“Jewish Disabilities Awareness Month is a time for contemporary Jews to reflect on the inequality that our Jewish brothers and sisters with a disability experience in their daily lives. 

“This period involves more than reflection, however.  It requires a re-dedication to advancing the cause of Jews with disabilities and fighting for fairness and equality in our schools, places of work, and yes, even in our synagogues.”

For some, the imperative is driven by the simple notion of fairness and Jewish values.

“An overarching Jewish value is that as Jews, we take care of each other,” Remz said. “We all should have equal opportunities to contribute to our community’s growth and vitality.”

Christensen agreed, noting that we all bring various perspectives and passions to Jewish life, and that those with special need cannot be excluded.

“Those with disabilities have talents and skills and they are part of the light,” she said. “If we get them into the classroom, then they should also be in the board room. My hope is that JDAM increases awareness of these issues and weaves them into the consciousness of our communities and organizations.”

Gateways mourns the loss of our dear friend and supporter, Mort Ruderman, who passed away on Erev Sukkot, October 12, 2011. Mort's passion for creating access to Jewish education for children with special needs personifies his commitment to inclusion and tikkun olam. His family's ongoing support of Gateways continues his legacy and honors his memory.

In November 2009 Gateways honored Mort, Marcia, and the Ruderman family for their unwavering dedication to Gateways at our annual Sweet Sounds event. Click here to watch the tribute video, in which Mort speaks about Gateways' mission, and why he cares so deeply about Jewish education for children with disabilities. Click here to view the Tribute Book from this event in honor of the Ruderman Family.

We are honored that the Ruderman Family has chosen Gateways to be the recipient of donations in Mort's memory. Click here to make a donation. Gateways will send acknowledgement of all contributions to the Ruderman family.

Obituary:

Morton E. Ruderman, of Boca Raton, FL, who co-founded global health care technology firm MEDITECH, and who later became one of the Jewish community’s leading philanthropists, passed away Wednesday at age 75 after a lengthy illness. His charitable endeavors included the endowment of a Jewish Studies chair at Northeastern University and the creation of the Ruderman Family Foundation, which is focused on the issues of disability and continuity in the Jewish community.

Mort, as he was known by many, was born and raised in Malden and graduated from Northeastern University with a degree in electrical engineering.  After service in the Army as a second lieutenant, he became Digital Equipment Corporation’s first ever medical technology salesperson.  He founded MEDITECH with three other partners in 1969, and the company went on to enormous success.  Mort later founded Cres Development Company, a real estate development firm, and several other companies.  Mort became a mentor to many young business people, using his wisdom to help them launch their own ventures.  He viewed as his greatest achievement, however, the work he did to give back to a Jewish community that he believed gave him so much.

Philanthropy became his focus in his later years, as he and his wife Marcia, supported many causes in the community, particularly in organizations that helped people with disabilities and those less fortunate in society.  Their creation of the Ruderman Family Foundation provided a means to focus their philanthropy on innovative, new approaches to enabling Jewish people with disabilities to realize full inclusion in their community.

He leaves three children and ten grandchildren.  A funeral service was held in the Boston area Sunday, October 16.  The family will sit shiva beginning Saturday evening, Oct. 22, through Oct. 28. Donations may be made to the Alpha-1 Association and Gateways: Access to Jewish Education.

Click here to make a donation to Gateways in memory of Mort Ruderman.

Thanks to Jerry Silverman, president and CEO of the Jewish Federations of North America, for his shout-out to Gateways in his letter to the editor of The Jewish Daily Forward, published on July 8, 2011.

Caring About Jewish Education
Letters to the Editor
Originally published on Forward.com

The Forward’s June 14 opinion piece “Hebrew Language Charter Schools Are a Bad Bargain” fails to mention that Jewish federations maintain an unwavering commitment to hundreds of educational programs across North America, dedicating millions of dollars toward the future of our children.

In fact, despite continued economic challenges, many federations are expanding their support of Jewish day schools, which remain a cornerstone of Jewish education. The Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago, for example, established a Jewish Day School Guaranty Trust Fund to ensure that every Jewish family has the opportunity to choose a day school education, regardless of financial ability or religious commitment.

In Boston, Combined Jewish Philanthropies has partnered with the Ruderman Family Foundation since 2005 to improve programs for students with special learning needs in Boston-area Jewish day schools. More than $4 million has already been distributed for school-based grants, professional development, and support of Gateways, a regional Jewish special education agency. An additional $3 million will increase the number and range of students with special needs served in area Jewish day schools by 2015.

In New York, UJA-Federation last year provided $1 million in tuition for Jewish day school and yeshiva students through its Rose Biller Day School Scholarship Fund and assisted with health care benefits for thousands of Jewish day school and yeshiva teachers.

Meanwhile, The Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh recently launched a program through its Centennial Fund for a Jewish Future to provide free tuition for the 2011-2012 school year for students grades 3-11 who are new to Jewish day  schools.

Federations big and small are adapting new programs across our movement. The PJ Library, an initiative of the Harold Grinspoon Foundation that provides families with free Jewish children’s books, is operating in more than 135 communities. Federations, through Taglit Birthright and Jewish camps, also provide transformative experiences that engage young Jews.

In short, Jewish federations are deeply involved in growing Jewish education for our community.

Jerry Silverman
President and CEO
Jewish Federations of North America
New York, NY

Arlene Remz Responds:

JFNA President and CEO Jerry Silverman rightly points out that the Jewish federation system is a strong and unwavering advocate for special needs education in Jewish day school settings.   (The Forward, July 8).

In particular, the Combined Jewish Philanthropies in Boston was a central catalyst – along with The Ruderman Family Foundation – in the creation of Gateways: Access to Jewish Education five years ago.  The continued support of the federation, the Ruderman family and other philanthropists have helped make a Jewish education for students with special needs – and a Jewish gateway for them and their families – a reality.

While Gateways works within the Boston metro area to ensure a Jewish education is accessible to a variety of special needs students, our model is one we hope will be replicated in other communities. We have been privileged to counsel colleagues in such places as Chicago, Florida and Philadelphia who agree that inclusion of students with special needs not only empowers and equips them with quality education and a Jewish consciousness, but also enhances and strengthens the entire Jewish community.

We thank JFNA, CJP and our other philanthropic partners who have joined us in making a Jewish education for children and youth with special needs possible, and for standing with us as we make our mission part of the communal conversation here and nationally.

Arlene Remz
Executive Director
Gateways: Access to Jewish Education